What You Can Do for a Student in Distress?

If you choose to approach a student you are concerned about, or if a student seeks you out for help with personal problems, here are some suggestions which might make the opportunity more comfortable for you and helpful for the student:

Talk to the student. Talk to the student in private when both of you have time and are not rushed or preoccupied. Give the student your undivided attention. It is possible that just a few minutes of effective listening on your part may be enough to help the student feel confident about what to do next.

Be direct and non-judgmental. If you have initiated the contact, express your concern in behavioral, non-judgmental terms (e.g., "I've noticed you've been absent from class lately and I'm concerned," rather than "Where have you been lately? Don't you care about anything?").

Listen sensitively. Listen to thoughts and feelings in a sensitive, non-threatening way. Communicate understanding by repeating back the gist of what the student has told you. Try to include both the content and feelings: "It sounds like you're not accustomed to being so far from home and you're feeling lonely." Let the student talk.

Clarify options. Work with the student to clarify the costs and benefits of each option for handling the problem from the student's point of view.

Demonstrate respect. Avoid judging, evaluating or criticizing unless the student specifically asks your opinion. Such behavior is apt to close the student off from you and from getting the help needed. It is important to respect the student, even if you don't agree with his or her value system.

Refer. Point out that help is available and seeking help is a sign of strength. Make some suggestions about places to go for help (e.g., Counseling & Consultation Center , Student Health Center , Campus Ministry). Tell the student what you know about the recommended person or service.

Follow up. Following up is an important part of the process. Check with the student later to find out how he or she is doing. Provide support as appropriate.